Well met, fellow traveler, whether by moonlight or noonday sun! My name hight Ryleh -- and welcome to my world. Herein you will find the reports of farwanderers -- mineself, among them -- who have traveled to Faire in strange lands and distant climes, seeking the exotic pleasures, outlandish amusements and rare diversions offered thereat. Here, too, you will find that strangest of beasts -- Rennish humor -- plus links to official Faire websites, outstanding Rennish Webpages and Medieval Resources... even links for the matrimonially-minded planning a Renaissance-themed wedding. So pray, tarry awhile within: cast down your cares, lift up your flagons high and be right merrie here in Ryleh's Renaissance World!

Just click on the state to see which faires Ryleh has visited there.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION - Being a brief essay for those new to the Magick and Mystery of Renaissance Faires!

FEATURES -- Find both old and new Faire articles here...

THE FAIRE SCENE -- Herein will be found photo essays, human-interest stories and editorials on a wide variety of Faire-related subjects.

AFTER-ACTION REPORTS FROM OUR CORRESPONDENTS -- Renaissance articles and essays submitted by other farwanderers will be found within.

RYLEH'S PROFILE -- Everything you always wanted to know about Ryleh the Wanderer, now on MySpace!

RYLEH'S FRIENDS -- The MySpace pages of Ryleh's Faire Family and Friends all linked together on one page.

RENAISSANCE HUMOR - Culled from the four corners of the Internet, these strange beasts are sure to tickle even the most-jaded sense of humor.

INSULT GENERATORS AND OTHER FUN - Insult the mundanes in true Elizabethean fashion, then curse them out in Gaelic! It's all here, along with the Renaissance Purity Quiz, the Kingdomality Test and more! What would Rennish culture be without them???!?

RESOURCES - Here you will find "The Brewmaster's Art," a treatise on the making of Thor's Hammer(tm) hard cider; plus links to other Renaissance Festival websites, information on Medieval-style weddings and web pointers for finding a variety of Medieval and Renaissance fonts for your computer. Enjoy!

"HUMOR: Adopt A Rennie" - Every year, hundreds of starving, naked Rennies both here and abroad go homeless, thirsty and unloved. Only YOU can make a difference! Won't you open your heart! Your home!! Your wallet!!! and adopt one of these amazing, colorful pets TODAY!!!

"HUMOR: Recipe For Unattended Children" - You don't REALLY want to know what happens to all those sniveling, whining little brats who get underfoot at faire, do you? I thought not! There are just some things patrons shouldn't know about RenFaires MUAHAHAHA!!!

And Now For Something Completely Different! - The Viking Kittens do Led Zepplins' "The Immigrants Song" as a Flash animation. Hilarity ahead: you have been warned!

Men in Kilts - answers -- most explicitly! -- that age-old question: "What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?" WARNING: this site contains male nudity. If you are under the age of 18 and/or your local jurisdiction considers graphic depictions of nudity against the law and/or you are personally offended by such depictions, PLEASE do us all a favor and go to "Tudor Times", below.

The Tudor Times - Medieval and Renaissance history as reported, tabloid-style, by the editors and staff of the (fictious) Tudor Times. All the scandals, all the gossip of King Henry's Court -- outrageous!

HUMOR: Scottish Jokes - A collection of jokes about scotsmen and Scotland, from "Micrasaeft Windaes" to the traditional "What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?". Mostly gleaned from the alt.humor newsgroup.

HUMOR: Lutefisk and Yams - Beware of this one! Even though it is written in the form of Early Norse epic poetry, the "punchline" still manages to sneak up on you. Contributed by AJadeWolf and Kiltgrrrrl of alt.fairs.renaissance.

Haroldry For The NonHarold - A bit of SCA (Society For Creative Anachronisms) humor, 'tis true, but good for a chuckle--especially if you've ever played a Noble persona at Faire.

HUMOR: The Dragon Song - subtitled "What Shall We Do With A Drunken Dragon?" Offering some suggestions in case you ever have need to deal with an intoxicated "Draconis Familiarus"...!

HUMOR: Boil't Beets and Haggis -- with bonus "Address to A Haggis" by Robert Burns -- being a parody of Dr. Seuss' well-known children's story "Green Eggs and Ham" from a slightly-skewed Scottish point of view, as only the Rennies of alt.fairs.renaissance could tell it!

Medieval Pick-Up Lines by Bodger & Grift. A Faire maiden has caught your eye but you don't know what to say to introduce yourself? Try a few of these for openers--and never be at a loss for wordes again! (warning: use with discretion. Management is not responsible for any injuries or damages resulting from the use of these lines--especially if her husband/boyfriend/SO carries a large sword as part of his costume and/or is the star performer in the Faire's knife-throwing act!).

HUMOR: "Are You A Viking?" Test Do you have what it takes to join the Norsemen and fight your way into Valhalla? Take this test and find out! Originally published in an Icelandic newspaper, it was republished on the Web by a modern Icelander, Gunnora Hallakarva; picked up by the newsgroup rec.org.sca where several additions were suggested and presented here by Ryleh, who added a few more questions of his own.

Online Guide to Marshmount Castle with link to the Upquhuck Castle site. These castles do not exist--but a straight-faced, pseudofactual presentation turns this into a hilarious send-up of all the (badly-written) tourist guidebooks written about British, Welsh and Scottish castles. The "Marshmount Family Geneaology" is a riot: try to figure how who married Henry de Marchemont VI and what his kinship to her was. Then send your comments to the castle trustees located on "Lower Middle High Street Road"! Definitely worth a chuckle--and the castle plans are very professionally drawn, too.

Join the "International Wenches Guild"! - To see if you qualify for membership, just click on the "Sign Up" link, answer a few simple questions--and try to keep a straight face!!! Not a wench? No problem! Check out "The Brotherhood of Rogues, Scoundrels and Cads"; "The Renaissance Festival Veterans Administration" or several other rollicking guilds "sponsored" by the Lundegaard Armoury. Each Guild has its own pin, Guild handbook and your very own membership certificate (suitable for framing, of course). You only have to stop laughing long enough to write the check!

HUMOR: All I Really Need to Know I Learned at Faire - Based upon Robert Fulghum's "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten", this article is just as inspirational--from a Rennie's point of view!

The Renaissance Purity Test: are you a Faire virgin... or an addict? Take this test and find out! Presented by White Dragon, a member of the Medieval and Renaissance Ring.

What should you be for the Renaissance Faire? Not exactly sure who your "Inner Rennie" is? Well, this quiz can help! Just answer a few easy questions about your faire self, push the "GO!" button and read the (sometimes surprising!) results. Your answer may not be an precise character match, but it sure will be close to your REAL Faire persona!

Historic Tale Construction Kit Using clipart and fonts gleaned from the Bayeaux Tapestry, this FLASH-based Web app allows you to create your own Medieval epic onscreen! After you're finished, you can send it as an e-card to your friends, save it to your hard drive and/or submit it to the site's own gallery. Have fun!

The Kingdomality Test - First answer eight questions rating your modern work attitudes, then find out what Medieval occupation you would have been best suited for six centuries ago!

How to Speak Scots - You've always wanted to tell someone "Do you think just because I come from Carronshore I cannot fight? I shall hit you over the head with a cold potato!" Now you can! Here you'll find seven quick lessons in speaking the Scots dialect of English, with WAV and RA soundfiles provided to perfect that broad Scottish accent. This link also courtesy of our special correspondent, Mike Harris of Houston.

The Random Renaissance Insult Generator - Shakespeare was never at a loss for words--nor were our Medieval ancestors when it came down to trading insults. Fact is, a "tongue-lashing" nowadays is pretty mild, even tame by comparison. Most Americans, for example, have an "insult vocabulary" of perhaps two dozen words and phrases at best--and most of that consists of vulgarities and obscenities. On the other hand, Your average Elizabethan could draw instantly on a far-broader, far more descriptive verbal arsenal of over 150 words for any battle of wits. Fortunately, you don't have to be a Shakespearean scholar nor wade through massive tomes of Elizabethan literature to access this arsenal. "Sheena Shepard Gunn" (AKA Sandra Shepard in Real Life), Chieftess of Clan Gunn, has already assembled these words into a "Chinese menu" form (choose one from column A, one from column B and so on). This material is available as a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions), which was originally submitted to the newsgroup alt.fairs.renaissance by Sandra Shepard and appears therein monthly. It is �Sandra Shepard! Ryleh has taken the liberty of translating Ms. Shepard's original insult generator into a JavaScript-driven Webpage. No infringement of Ms. Shepard's work is implied nor intended: it is offered here simply for its' entertainment value.

General Faire Links: check out the Directorie's national list of Renaissance Faires, Sir Clisto's mammoth Tome of RenFaire Knowledge, RenRadio, RenFaire Photo Galleries and much, much more!

Medieval Wedding Links: being a short list of outstanding sites to help you start planning your Medieval or Renaissance Theme wedding now. These sites provide plenty of helpful hints, tips, sources, guides, history and information on Medieval weddings, with even more links to other, similar Webpages. Happy Hunting - and congratulations from Ryleh the Wanderer!

The Brewmaster's Art: The Making of "Thor's Hammer" - Everything you need to know to homebrew your own hard cider (AKA "Thor's Hammer" AKA "Applejack"), with equipment list, supply list, procedures and tips for enjoying the "fruits of your labor" at faire. Enjoy!

Medieval & Renaissance Fonts: A link page to Medieval and Renaissance fonts and dingbats available free (or for a slight fee) out upon the Aether. Whether you're designing "illuminated" manuscripts for friends and family or just collecting fonts for your own amusement, you're sure to find something interesting here!